Graduation Quotes

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success. ~Robert Orben

Just about a month from now I'm set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars. ~Richard Halliburton

There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. ~Orrin Hatch

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. ~Gary Bolding

The tassel's worth the hassle! ~Author Unknown

The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse. ~Edward Koch

All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. ~Author Unknown

Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference. ~Arie Pencovici

At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros. ~Paul Freund

When you leave here, don't forget why you came. ~Adlai Stevenson, to college graduates

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. ~Erma Bombeck

You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. ~Tom Brokaw

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. ~Aristotle

It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. ~Theodore Roosevelt

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ~Benjamin Franklin

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. ~Garry Trudeau

[I]t is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock. ~Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates," Side Effects, 1980

People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. ~Bill Cosby

Funny Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.