Funny "ENGLISH" around the WORLD!
Some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.
Funny Jokes
Kasal
Padre: ikaw lalake ang haligi ng tahanan at ikaw naman babae ang ilaw ng tahanan.
"Eh, padre ano ako." Sino ka ba? "biyenan" ikaw ang anay ng tahanan
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Lolo bagong kasal sa sexy
Sexy: Ano honey kaya mo ba?
Lolo: raises five fingers
Sexy: lima? Kaya mo pa limang beses?
Lolo: hindi, pili ka alin daliri!
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Husband: hon, forgive me! naki pag sex ako kay mare for 500 pesos!
Wife: ano! walanghiya ka! nagbayad ka pa! si pare nga libre lang sa akin.
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Husband: honey mag-impake ka na! nanalo ako sa lotto.
Wife: wow! anong dadalhin ko?
Husband: wala akong paki alam, basta lumayas ka!
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A Good wyf wud say "kain na tayo mahal" A Better wyf wud say
"kainin mo ako mahal" The Best wyf wud say "pakain ng sayo
mahal"
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Hus: hon malapit nako, mtgal ka pa ba?
Wyf:hintyin mo nako, malapit na rin ako.
Hus:yan na lalabas naaaah.
Wyf:walanghiya ka, bat sa labas k tumae?
Hus:tagal mo kasi sa cr.
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Stages of Marriage:
Yr1: man goes home, wife gives slippers & dog barks.
Yr2:man goes home, dog gives slippers and wife barks.
Yr3: at home man and wife barks, slippers hit dog!
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A woman is astonished 2 be carried by her hubby who arrived from church, he was never sweet 2 her.
Wife: Did the priest tell you 2 do this?
Man: yes, told me 2 carry my cross.
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Couple having sex:
wife: nasasaktan ako ANSELMO ummh! husband: tang-ina! sinong ANSELMO ang tawag mo?
wife: ulol! sabi ko ang cel mo nasa pwet ko,masakit.
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Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko. Magpapanggap akong "pick-up girl", (pagkita kay Mr.)
Hi, pogi, available ako ngayon.
Mister: Ayoko sa iyo kamukha mo misis ko".
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Nasa bundok ka nahulog cel mo at asawa mo, anong gagawin mo? magpakatotoo ka,
sagipin mo cel mo at isigaw mo sa asawo mo text na lang kitaaaaaa'
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Best husbands: Panadero - masarap lumamutak. Hinente - magaling
pumatong. Catcher - palaging pasok sa butas. Karpintero - mahusay
sa pukpukan. Texter - gusto laging fingeran.
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WIFE: I'm warning you, darating na mister ko within 1 hour.
VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginagawang masama a!
WIFE: Yon nga, kung may plano ka, dalian mo!
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An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man.
'Anong ginagawa niyo?!?' he shouted.
To which his wife said to her lover 'Sabi ko sa yo tanga asawa ko eh'
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MR: Labs, bakit ka umiiyak?
MRS: Nagseselos kasi ako sa bagong cellphone mo.
MR: Bakit naman?
MRS: Kasi may ibang libangan na ang daliri mo.
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STAGES OF MARRIAGE:
Year 1: Man goes home, wife gives slippers and the dog barks.
Year 2: Man goes home, dog gives slippers and wife barks.
Year 3: At home, man and wife barks. SLIPPERS HIT DOG!
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WIFE: Labs, kain na. I'm ready.
HUSBAND: Busog pa ako eh.
WIFE: Hindi food ibig kong sabihen. Yung aken.
HUSBAND: Kaya nga, busog pa ko. Birthday ng secretary ko, Nagpakain siya
kanina.
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Why does a man want to have a WIFE?
W - washing
I - ironing
F - food
E - entertainment
FREE of CHARGE!
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Wyf: Alam mo pagkatapos kong maglaba naalala kita.
Husband: Bakit?
Wyf: Pagkapos kong mamalantsa, naalala kita. Pagkatapos kong magluto, naalala pa rin kita. Hudas ka! Dapat, ikaw ang gumagawa nito, eh.
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Take care of urself, eat on tym, tk ur vit, exercise, ligo k, kain k gulay n fruits, wag paulan at puyat. ingat pgtawid yoko mapahamak k mbabawasan fans ko.
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Sum1 misses u, needs u, worries abt u, lonely w/o u, gues who? malay ko, basta grit lang kita ng gud pm.
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Last night i dreamt of U. this morning my first thought was U. im thinking of U right now and til i go to bed tonight. bukas I'll thik of V naman.
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Admiration when lost, can find a new one, feelings when gone, may never come back, trust when broken, may baby ka na!
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When i was lost u were there, wen i was down, you were there, wen i was brokenhearted, u were there, when i got sick u were there... aba! di kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!
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If you're wet and hot and you're alone and your rum and u nid someone who will respond with your body heat, just call me. with my breathtaking style and the power of my hands. . . papaypayan kita.
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Gabi-gabi hindi ako makatulog. Lagi-lagi kitang iniisip. Iisa lang ang ipinagdarasal ko pagkagat ng dilim. Sana... Huwag ka nang pupunta rito, peste kang magnanakaw ka!
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Kiss is a gamble. Sex is a gamble. Boys do the action and girls get the blame. They say you're pretty, they say you're fine. But 9 months later, they say "It's not mine".
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Noong hindi pa tayo nagkikita, napapaginipan palagi kita. Ngayong nagkita tayo, hindi na ako makatulog. Binabangunugot na ako dahil sa iyo.
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Flash News:
Batman luking 4 erap. According to batman, it is because erap walk like a penguin & thinks like a joker.
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News Flash:
Lucio Tan rejected plans of her daughter to marry a wealthy business named Albert Canto, coz he does not like the title of the occasion CANTO-TAN wedding.
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News Update:
Three rebel leaders were killed. They are Abu Sado, Abu Rido and Abu Kado... They are now looking for Abu Loy. Abu Nohan mo muna, pwede?
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Newsflash:
Sa pakikipagtulungan ng DILG at Jollibee, nasugpo ang isang malaking sindikatong mga droga! Sinunog nila ang lahat ng nasamsam nila at tinawag nila ang proyekto ng OPLAN: Langhap Sarap!
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Newsflash:
Gagawa rin ng pelikula sina Vince Hizon at Porky Pig ng animated na pelikula tulad ng ginawa ni Michael Jordan at Bugs Bunny na Space Jam. Ang titulo ng pelikula nila ay Pork and Vince.
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Text Jokes
NBI Clearance Applicant: Sir available na ba clearance ko??
NBI: Followup mo na lang after 5 days may kapangalan ka kasi eh
Applicant: Huh?? sino?? ano pangalan???
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Love starts with a smile...
Grows with a kiss..
Ends with tears...
Yun lang!!!
ano pa gusto mo??
may sex tapos magkakababy pa??
Ugali mo talaga!!! wag ganun!!! hehehehe...
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Girl: tikman mo itong cake masarap!! gawa ng nanay ko
Boy: ikaw na lang titikman ko!! tutal gawa ka rin naman ng nanay mo
hehehe.. yan ang banat!!!!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Mister: adik talaga ako dito sa alimango
Misis: naku ingat ka sa cholesterol niyan!!! may kilala ako sa tondo na kumain ng tatlong matatabang alimango na puro aligue habang nakikipaginuman
Mister: talaga!!! tapos ano nangyari??
Misis: lumabas lang siya sandali para jumingle ayun bigla na lang bumulagta patay na!!!
Mister: inatake sa puso??
Misis: hindi, sinaksak ng adik!!! marami talagang loko dyan sa Tondo!!!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Pedro: ang galing ng lolo ko hindi nag-uulam tuwing almusal!!!
Juan: ano ba yang lolo mo!!! lolo ko gatas lang ang almusal!!!
Totoy: ano ba yang mga lolo nyo?? mga patay gutom!!! lolo ko hinde na nagaalmusal
Pedro at juan: bakit?? sino ba yung lolo mo??
Totoy: ang lolo ko ay si eagleman!!! hindi nagbrebreakfast si eagleman!!!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
kakaiba na talaga ang tao ngayon
nasa loob ako ng church kanina
nasa harap ko ang isang babae
at the middle of the mass she lights a cigarette
nashock ako!!!
natapon ko tuloy ang redhorse ko!!!!
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Boy to his crush
Boy: alam mo ba hindi tayo tao hindi rin tayo hayop??
Girl: huh?? eh ano tayo??
Boy: BAGAY tayo...
Naks hahahaha....
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Spanish Poem
el papa la bomba
y mama de cama
tres beses birada
contodo romansa
el papa pagod na
la mama gusto pa
el papa tacas na
porque te-te lambot na
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Mansanas pantalon,
ang sapatos may buhok(may buhok)..
lahat sila nakatingin na sa iyo (sa iyo)
Ay nadapa! (ay nadapa)
bigla bigla, nagspageti pababa ba ba ba ba...
Pawis na at kupas, ang sapatos may sintas(may sintas!!)
paikot ikot puwet pinalong malakas(malakas!!)
Ay nadapa(ay nadapa)
Bigla bigla nagspagetti pababa ba ba ba ba....
"low"- flo rida
tagalog version
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Binata: ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo
Ale: wag muna, nag-aaral pa siya
Binata: Sige po kapag uwian na lang nila!!! :)
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
makabagong kasabihan:
"aanhin mo ang taong maganda...
kung siya ay pumapangit pag katabi ko na?!!"
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
Love Massages
"There are 12 months a year...30 days a month...7 days a week...24 hours a day...60 minutes an hour...but only one like you in a lifetime."
"There are two reasons why I wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and you."
"Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas, theories and figures; my mind contains only you!"
"Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this."
"If I could change the alphabet, I would put U and I together!"
"Minsan caring is better than loving. Minsan tea is better than coffee. Minsan smile is better than laughter. Pero nobody is better than you."
"There is night so we can appreciate day, sorrow so we can appreciate joy, evil so we can appreciate good, you so I can appreciate love."
"You look great today. How did I know? Because you look great everyday."
"What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it destiny. And me, I call it you."
"What is love? It is what makes your cell phone ring every time I send text messages."
"If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you."
"I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you."
"Press down if you miss me. Talaga? Sweet mo naman. You really miss me huh? Still pressing down. Impressed na ako, ha? Sobrang miss na yan. Well, I miss you too."
"Some people were born with talents. They can do beautiful things with their skills, knowledge and technology. But no one is as talented as you. You just come near, and there is already beauty."
"A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. You're such a lady to me."
"To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget this text, but not the sender."
"When situation gets you down, remember there's Someone in Heaven who loves you and watches over you and there's someone on Earth who cares… I do."
"Cell phones can be irritating sometimes. You always have to reload, recharge every now and then. Messages are delayed. But there's one thing I love about it. It connects me to you!"
"Words begin with ABC. Numbers begin with 123. Music begins with do, re, mi. And friendship begins with you and me!"
"Rain and sunshine do not always come together. Night and day never coincide. But you and I, whatever they say, is for me the perfect match.
When I dream, I dream of you...maybe one day, dreams will come true."
"There is an ocean between us. Forests and mountains keep us apart. I may not be superman, but give me a second and I will fly across countries to send you my love. Have you received it?"
"If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you."
"I'm on a mission to get over you, in other words mission impossible."
"I wish I'd be a tear in your eye to roll down your cheek and end up with your lips but I never wish you'd be a tear in my eye for I would lose you every time I cry."
"When it rains, you don't see the sun, but it's there. Hope we can be like that. We don't always see each other, but we will always be there for one another."
"I may run out of message to text you. I may run out of jokes too. I may also run out of battery or even a peso but my heart won't run out of space for you!"
"You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick "Hello" from that person can bring the broken pieces back."
"Love. All my life I have read about it, dreamt of it, waited for it, cried for it, needed it. Now with you, I have found it."
"Sherlock Holmes was an idiot and Robert Watt was a fool. One was a detective, the other invented radar. But neither of them ever discovered you. I'm a genius!"
"When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do."
"There's a love that only you can give, a smile that only your lips can show, a twinkle that can only be seen in your eyes, and a life of mine that you alone can complete."
"Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I'd rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around."
"Ah-- I forgot your name. Can I call you mine? And, in case you forget my name too, call me yours!"
"If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U"."
"You may never see how much I care for you. You may never hear how much I treasure you. You may never feel how much I miss you. Coz only here in my heart can you see them true."
"There are 4 steps to happiness: 1. you, 2. me, 3. our hearts, 4. together!"
"If kisses were water, I'd give you the ocean. If hugs were leaves, I'd give you a forest. If love were space, I'd give you a galaxy. If friendship were life, I'd give you mine for free."
"It's hard to say hello because it might be goodbye. It's hard to say I'm okay because sometimes I'm not. But it's easy to say I miss you coz I know that I really do."
It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds. But when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call you and I."
"If you're feeling lonely and you think there is nobody there to love, support, listen or show they care, just save this message and every time you realize it, it will remind you that a part of me is always there with you."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am waiting to hear from a cute guy like you."
"They say that as long as there is one person loving you, life isn't a waste. So if you lose hope and thought that life is not worth living, just remember I'm here."
"Do you know that men and women are angels created with only one wing? And they need to embrace each other to be able to fly... Hope you can find your angel whom you can fly with forever."
"They told me I could do anything if I put my mind into it. Yet no matter how hard I try in all that I do, I just can't take my mind off of you."
"My biggest reward is to see you smile, know you are happy, and feel you are loved. I know life is sometimes cruel, but that's why I'm here, to show you that life can be good when somebody cares."
"I always think of you, but I always fail to know the reason why. Is there something else I should know about you? But there is one thing that I know is true. That life will always be sad without you."
"Hatred infects the mind; love dissolves it. You dissolve my mind."
"Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cause I might do something crazy like believe it."
"I'm afraid to close my eyes coz I might think of you. I'm afraid to open them coz I might see you. I'm afraid to move my lips coz I might speak of you. I'm afraid to listen coz I might hear my heart fall for you."
"I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near. I'm sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here. I'm sorry that cupid has made his hit. I'm sorry I love you, I can't help it."
"Caring for someone is easy but making someone care for you is hard. Now I keep wondering how did you make it so easy for me to care for you."
"Text me when you are sad, text me when you need someone to listen to and you can't find anyone who will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just don't want you to cry alone."
"I don't want to say I miss you, though deep inside I do, coz I'm afraid you might see thru and know how much fear I have of losing someone like you."
If love can be avoided simply by closing our eyes, I wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you."
"I wish one day you will miss me terribly that no matter how hard you look for me, you won't find me. Why? Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm missing you right now."
"If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose "V" so I can be next to "U"; if you could be any note, I wish you're "RE" so your always beside "ME"! "
"Whatever you do, I'll walk with you. Hoping that your every dream would come true. Anytime, anywhere, I'll always be there. Wishing you love and happiness because I care."
"The spaces between our fingers were created so that another person's fingers could fill them in. Hope you'll find your dream hand to hold you forever."
"Every part of me wants you, maybe because I was made just for you!"
"When you love someone, draw a circle around their name instead of a heart coz hearts can be broken but circles never end."
"Nobody tells fish to swim, birds to fly, cows to moo, dogs to bark - they just do. Just like nobody tells me to remember you. I just do!"
"If you were a wound inside my heart, I'd rather leave it there with all the pain locked inside than leave it without a trace of you."
"Whenever you feel blue, I will be there for you. Whenever you are sad, I will stay by your side. Whenever you need someone to love, I will always be there for you to have."
They can recycle paper till it's as good as new, reproduce cans and jars and old bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as you.
"I hate when you smile at me because you make me crazy about you. I hate when you talk to me because you make me run out of words. I hate you when I see you because you make me love you more."
"What good is beauty without brains, looks without charm, money without happiness, a smile without feelings, a life without you?"
"To be disturbed by the beep of your phone only means that somehow, somewhere, somebody is thinking of you and at this very moment, that's me. Take care always."
"A person you love is an extension of yourself. Without it, you're not complete so better take care of yourself because I don't want to lose a part of me."
"I wish my eyes could speak what my heart feels for you, coz my lips can lie on what is true. My eyes couldn't coz even if I close them I could still see you."
"Every time I hear my text tone, I always hope one of them is from you. My cell phone may have limited memory space but my heart has unlimited space for someone like you."
"I have you! If you hate me, shoot me with an arrow, but please not on the heart coz that's were you are!"
"Someone asked what makes people happy. Some said wealth and some said fame. I was thinking about this when my cell phone beeped and received a text from you. Then, I smiled and said: "This makes me happy."
"You're like a target that I always try to aim at. How I wish I could aim you at the heart. But every time I fail, I feel so sad. You know why? It's because I always end up missing you."
"It was a simple crush, done and over with, then you looked at me."
"Love is something special, a treasure I want to find... To others, love is blind but for me, its not true, coz when I fell in love...I saw you."
"I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hand for you to hold, my feet to walk with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already belongs to you."
"Why do birds fall from the sky every time you walk by? Maybe because like me they want to be near you!"
"If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u, would you ramdam the same?"
"Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded text mate, in sickness or in health, through metering or not, till low bat do us part?"
"Someone once asked me, "Have you ever fallen in love?" Then I answered, "Of course, once." Then they asked me another question: "Did it hurt?" I thought of you and told them "Yes, very much"."
"You must be a thief coz you stole my heart. You must be tired coz you're always running through my mind. And maybe I'm a bad shooter coz I keep missing you."
"I asked God for a rose and He gave me a garden. I asked God for a drop of water and He gave me an ocean. I asked God for an angel and He gave me you!"
"I have heard from the phone company, the water company, the electric company, but haven't heard from you. Too bad, it's your company I love the most."
"If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: "Like this!"
"If only one star would fall every time I miss you, then all the stars in heaven would be gone. Don't wonder if there are no stars tonight! It's your fault coz you made me miss you a lot."
"Life may sometimes be a rough road to walk on where everything seems wrong. But don't give up. Just go on coz when you think you're all alone, look back and you'll find me walking along."
"They say as long as at least one person cares for you, life isn't a waste. So when things go terribly wrong, and you feel like giving up, please remember you still got me."
"True love is hard to find, special one, one of a kind. I know because it appeared to me on a strange day I met you."
"I've been wondering why you're not texting... Multiple Choice: a. busy b. dedma c. tired d. thrifty e. want me to miss you."
"While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns. While all she did was smile, all I did is mourn. While she was so happy, I felt so blue. Because while you loved her, I was loving you."
"An angel asked me a reason why I care for you so much. I told her I care for you so much coz there's no reason not to."
"First time I saw you, I was scared to touch you. First time I touched you, I was scared to kiss you. First time I kissed you, I was scared to love you. But now that I love you, I'm scared to lose you!"
"If love is a disease then I'm very ill. But I would not want medicine and won't take any pill. I would instead suffer this illness and be bedridden with joy of knowing you."
"I will walk with you side by side for only one condition: hide your wings every time we walk together because the whole world might know that you're my angel!"
"Each of us is an angel with one wing. The only way we could fly is to hold each other and share wings. So if you have trouble flying, I will always share mine with you."
"I used to think that the world is so unfair, that it gave me so many reasons to hate it. But now, how can I hate such a wonderful world that gave me you?"
"Can I say I love you today? If not, can I ask you again tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? And the day after that? Coz I'll be loving you every single day of my life."
"A day may start or end without a message from me, but believe me it won't start or end without me thinking of you..See! I just did. Take care."
"You greeted me hi, I didn't reply. You gave me a sweet smile, I responded with a sigh. You showed me your love, you received a shrug. But when you bid goodbye I began to cry."
"There Were Times You Make Me Cry... Looking 4 A Reason Why... There Were Times You Make Me Fly...Stay With Me Until I Die...Stay With Me..."
"When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, 'cause I did it and I found you!"
"Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget.And if I die before you do I'll go to heaven and wait for you."
"Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart."
"I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!...."
"Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most"
"The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell!"
"Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams!"
"My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!"
"It must have been a rainy day when you were born, but it wasn't really rain, the sky was crying because it lost his most beautiful angel...!"
"I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ... more than words ... can ever say"
"If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas!"
"don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you 2"
"What ever you say, what ever you do, I will always love you."
"If loving you is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. My love for you is strong and brighter then any light.The way we must go is long, but we'll win every fight."
"Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you know you're always on my mind!"
"If I could rewrite the alphabet I'd put U and I together!"
"I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are, and I will follow the rainbow until the end, if you promis forever to be my friend!"
"When God opened the door of Heaven,he saw me and asked: What is your wish for today?!
I said: Lord Please take care of the one reading this message!"
"Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and..
Only the lucky 1 receives
MSGS FRM ME"
"When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart & when tears flow 4rm ur eyes, just let me know, coz I want 2b there 4 U! I'm selling TISSUES, BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!"
"If i could give u 1 thing in life, i would give u the ability 2 c yourself through my eyes, only then would u realise how special u r 2 me!"
"LIFE is 4 living, i live mine 4 U! LOVE is 4 giving, i give mine 2 U! DREAMS are 4 dreaming, mine are 4 U! HEARTS are 4 beating, & mine beats 4 U!"
"When i 1st saw u, i was scared 2 talk 2 u. When i spoke 2 you i was 2scared 2 hold u. When i held u i was 2scared 2 luv you. Now tht i luv u am 2scared 2lose U""Sum broken hearts may never mend, Sum memories may never end, Sum wet tears may never dry but my luv 4U will never die!"
"Flowers will die, the sun will set, but you r a friend i wont 4get! UR name is so precious, it'll never grow old, its engraved in my heart with letters of GOLD!!!"
"U'll always be mine, 4 now & 4 ever, U'll always be mine. Pls tell me its true, pls be mine 4 ever, I'll always always love you!"
"Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then theres those like me who just can't refuse u!"
"Dreams r 2b 4gotten, Reality 2b lived, desire 2b fulfilled & destiny 2b reached, where it began there it will end, friends from the start, Friendz till the end."
Text Quotes
"Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure."
"Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches you until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong."
"Women listen to music because they are in love. Men listen to music because they want to fall in love."
"Some people don't get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve."
"You don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without."
"There is no such a thing as ignorance, but only degrees of wisdom."
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, coz love is all there is."
"Traffic. The black spell that makes commuters forget they are in love."
"Love and stars are similar in one way. They keep you looking up every night."
"There are two things rain helps improve: agricultural production and Philippine population."
"It's better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your useless pride."
"The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart."
"When everything goes wrong, push! When you wish for something, push! When people don't understand, push. When you wish for love, P-ush U- ntil S-omething H-appens!"
"Guilt: The inner voice that tells us that Someone may be looking."
"Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love."
"Looking at men who are drunk is a mistake. Looking at women who are drunk is a temptation."
"Women fall in love through their ears, and men through their eyes."
"Each of us is a star. Sometimes we shine with the rest. Sometimes we twinkle alone. Sometimes when we least know it, we make someone's wish come true."
"Home is the only place where one does not get homesick."
"Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most often in the tongue of the liar."
"A person is happy if he has a problem and enjoys solving it."
"Girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. Guys are like buses. If you miss that one, another will be along soon."
"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good too to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money cannot buy!"
"In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek."
"Relationships are like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn, but the best so far is give way and keep right."
"Being happy all the time is kind of boring."
"When you love somebody, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love with all your might. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure that the person is worth it."
"Words and hearts should be handled with care... for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair."
"It's amazing how one person can bring you so much happiness and pain in your life. Maybe it's really love knocking when he can make you so happy that you forget all the pains. So don't forget all the happiness when he breaks your heart."
"It takes three seconds to say I love you, three minutes to explain, three hours to demonstrate, three days to appreciate, three terms to produce it, but a lifetime to prove it."
"The best thing about an enemy is that he tells the truth about you."
"Say good about yourself and you'll be called arrogant; say bad about yourself and you'll be believed."
"Some flowers grow best in the sun; others do well in the shade. God plants us where we grow best and gives us loved ones to grow with."
"There is no absolute freedom. When your girlfriend says, "I love you", that is her freedom. But then again, will you let her say, "I love you" to every man."
"Love can never be taught for it is to be learned; love can never be bought for it is to be given; love can never be kept for it is to be free; love can never be old for it lives to last a lifetime."
"When a battered wife learns to fight back, blame the husband. He showed signs of weakness. When a battered husband learns to fight back, blame the wife. She took too far."
"Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows."
"It is always a pleasure to listen to persons bragging about their humility."
"We forgive those who bore us but cannot forgive those whom we bore."
Famous Love Quotes
"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love."
-William Shakespeare-
"If you would be loved, love and be lovable."
-Benjamin Franklin-
"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love."
-William Shakespeare-
"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds."
-William Shakespeare-
"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-Saint Augustine-
"No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread."
-Robert Burton-
"To live is like love, all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it."
-Samuel Butler-
"We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage."
-Albert Camus-
"In love of home, the love of country has its rise."
-Charles Dickens-
"Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass."
-Euripides-
"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.".
-Benjamin Franklin-
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not."
-Andre Gide-
"The love we give away is the only love we keep."
-Elbert Hubbard-
"Life is the flower for which love is the honey."
-Victor Hugo-
"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others."
-Andre Maurois-
"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds."
-William Shakespeare -
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."
-Mother Teresa-
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
-Mother Teresa-
"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given."
-Mother Teresa-
"Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied."
-Mark Twain-
"Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love."
-Virgil-
"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher-
"We are shaped and fashioned by what we love."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe-
"There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe-
"Conversation has a kind of charm about it, an insuating and insidious something that elicits secrets from us just like love or liquor."
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca-
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
-Henry David Thoreau-
"Enemies, as well as lovers, come to resemble each other over a period of time."
-Sydney J Harris-
"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best."
-William Makepeace Thackeray-
"Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough."
-George Washington-
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-Theodore M Hesburgh-
"Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr-
"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
-James Baldwin-
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
-James Baldwin-
"All thoughts, all passions, all delights Whatever stirs this mortal frame All are but ministers of Love And feed His sacred flame."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge-
"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
-Charles Caleb Colton-
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life."
-Joseph Conrad-
"The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence."
-Albert Ellis-
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"
-Erich Fromm-
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
-Judy Garland-
"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit."
-Kahlil Gibran-
"A compliment is like a kiss through a veil."
-Victor Hugo-
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
-Oscar Wilde-
"Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves."
-Blaise Pascal-
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
-H L Mencken-
"Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired."
-Robert Lee Frost-
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."
-Sophocles-
"But love is blind and lovers cannot see The pretty follies that themselves commit; For if they could, Cupid himself would blush To see me thus transformed to a boy."
-William Shakespeare-
"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none."
-William Shakespeare-
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
-Lily Tomlin-
"The one who loves the least, controls the relationship."
-Robert Newton Anthony-
"O, Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; To be understood as to understand; To be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying to ourselves that we are born to eternal life. Amen."
-Saint Augustine-
"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart."
-Marcus Aelius Aurelius-
"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."
-Jane Austen-
"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away."
-Alicia Barnhart-
"Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love and His kindness go on forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34
-The Bible-
"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:7-8
-The Bible-
"The mind has a thousand eyes. And the heart but one; Yet the life of a whole life dies When love is done."
-Francis William Bourdillon-
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."
-George Burns-
"The greatest gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love. As a child wanders and strays, finding his bearings, he needs a sense of absolute love from a parent. There's nothing wrong with tough love, as long as the love is unconditional."
-George W Bush-
"All's fair in love and war."
-Francis Edwards-
"Earth's the right place for love. I don't know where it's likely to go better."
-Robert Lee Frost-
"You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's."
-Robert Lee Frost-
"I can live without money, but I cannot live without love."
-Judy Garland-
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-Kahlil Gibran-
"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear"
-Anonymous-
"Love truth, and pardon error."
-Voltaire-
"A loving heart is the truest wisdom."
-Charles Dickens-
"Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible."
-Thomas à Kempis-
"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."
-Martin Luther King-
"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go."
-Mother Teresa-
"Of all the music that reached farthest into heaven, it is the beating of a loving heart."
-Henry Ward Beecher-
"Love means never having to say you're sorry. LOVE STORY"
-Movie Quote-
"Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle."
-Crystal Middlemas-
"Love is like a mustard seed;planted by God and watered by men"
-Muda Saint Michael-
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
-George Sand-
"You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world."
-David Levesque-
"Love is strong yet delicate.It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this.To be in love is to respect this."
-Stephen Packer-
"When you love someone,all your saved-up wishes start coming out."
-Elizabeth Bowen-
"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate,intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner."
-Amy Bloom-
"We sat side by side in the morning light and looked out at the future together."
-Brian Andres-
"Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility...It is therefore able to undertake all things,and it completes many things,and warrants them to take effect,where he who does not love would faint and lie down.Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.Though weary, it is not tired;though pressed, it is not straitened;though alarmed, it is not confounded..."
-Thomas A. Kempis-
"Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful."
-Daniel Monroe Tuttle-
"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less,but because it sees more it is willing to see less."
-Will Moss-
"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less."
-Will Moss-
"Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul."
-Unknown-
"You can understand the facts of life. But facts of love are much different. To love you love someone or someone loves you.. But when you both love each other you're in love with one another. First become friends and let it go. Then get serious and get together. Just make yourself known as a person not as someone you don't want to be known as..."
-Unknown-
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with."
-Unknown-
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